Guess who’s at 30 weeks now!

This pregnancy actually zipped by in a flash!  I guess this is what happens with second pregnancies – you’re too busy with the kid that’s around that you don’t notice time zooming by.

Cannot believe I have max ten more weeks to go only! Fatty thinks it’s still a long way (think he’d rather see Bump tomorrow if not for the complications) but it’s not.

I’m so chill this pregnancy that we haven’t actually bought anything much yet.  So far, I got bath towels, a three piece pack of pajamas from Mothercare, some pink sheets for the crib… and that’s all WTF. Oh wait I also bought some newborn diapers cos they were on sale hahaha.

Sorry Bump!!!

In my defense, we mostly have everything ready for you already because of your koko.  But I’ve already created a shopping list for you ok don’t worry *hastily

Preparation

Things to get:

Milk bottles – last time I bought Avent cos it was the most famous brand.  And Fighter actually took to the bottle first before the breast so I don’t think there was nipple confusion.  But this time I’m worried about it and I’ve seen people recommending Medela Calma teats so I’m waiting to get those!

Baby pillow and blanket – because Fighter is still using his

A new canopy for the Bugaboo Bee – in baby pink, no less.  Going for a Bugaboo event next week so quite excited to check them out!

….Shit what else does a newborn baby need?  Why my memory so bad wtf.

Oh I guess stock up on toiletries as well – body wash, a new tub of diaper cream cos I don’t think it’s hygienic for them to share, new face cloths…

Also got Fighter a big boy bed!  His crib is obviously going to Bump so I bought the toddler bed for him to level up wtf.

I read somewhere that we should introduce the big bed to kids before the baby comes so they don’t associate getting kicked out of their comfy crib on account of the baby.

Last night we let him fall asleep in his crib, then moved him over to the bed.  He woke up three hours later panicking cos it was a new place hahaha.  Pat him back to sleep with minimal issue though and he slept well after that.  Hope every night is as good as this!

And how’s Bump?

This is her at 29 weeks!  At 29 weeks, she already weighs in at 1.2 kg!  In comparison, Fighter at 31 weeks was 1.07 kg. T_______T Damn you preeclampsia.

On the bright side, the fact that Bump is gaining well means there’s no problem with my placenta so far and nutrients are passing through to her just fine. ^^

And this is me at 29 weeks!  Wah so geli, bloated max still wanna act cute and put up one leg hahaha. (actually wanted to show my shoe la)

Let’s see.  At 30 weeks my bump feels hugeeee.  By this time last time I was already in the hospital so I was obviously quite inactive.  Now I’m still up and about and hefting Fighter around occasionally so I do feel the strain much more.  My muscles especially in the legs feel more ‘sui’ (sour wtf) and I generally feel heavy and whale-like. I’ve also gained 10 kg at this point.

My heartburn is damn bad also. It’s like 24/7 now omfg T___________T The pain is so bad my entire throat is sore and even my ears hurt wtf.  Last time my heartburn was easily neutralized with a cup of fresh milk but now even milk doesn’t help!  I hate the taste of Gaviscon so I just tahan the pain la. ._.

The only thing I can eat without getting heartburn (or at least minimal burn) is brunch type food!  Had this for lunch today and I think Imma eat it every day for the next ten weeks.

What else ah?

Oh yea goodbye ankle bones, hello cankles.

Removed my wedding ring this morning too because my finger was getting cinched in already and I scared it cannot come off in labor and they cut it off wtf.

Swelling has begun!  A bit scared cos this was a very distinct symptom of my preeclampsia but so far BP is still good.  But definitely started bloating la my knees and calves are fatter, my feet bones are missing wtf.  Jawline also rounded already.

Argh can’t wait to deliver honestly.  The pregnancy sped by but now that I’m at 30 weeks and counting every day my BP is normal, time is barely inching by. D:

Also tired of just being pregnant in general la wtf.

Can’t wait to fit back into my old clothes – it’s even uncomfortable wearing leggings now cos of how huge Bump is.  So I keep sticking to shift dresses and not to say I got a lot of them wtf.

Tired of battling the acid burn every night and tired of feeling tired when I play hide and seek with Fighter.

Time please pass faster!!!

edit: written a few nights ago

Last night Fighter had a vomiting fit. T________T

The entire day he seemed his normal cheerful self.  We brought him to a baby gym even where he was ecstatic and played like he was going nuts wtf.

After the gym we went for dinner and I ordered siu yuk rice to share with Fighter.  It came with salted vege and pork soup too which I wet his rice with.  Normally he loves siu yuk but after a few bites he didn’t want anymore.  I thought maybe he didn’t like that the soup was a bit sour so I tried feeding him roast potatoes and bacon instead.  He didn’t want the potatoes but chewed on the bacon then spit it out WTF.  Repeatedly. -_-

Anyway worrying that he didn’t have enough dinner, we rushed home to feed him home cooked food.  He again stopped eating after a few spoons and I figured maybe it was late so he wasn’t hungry anymore.

So I started getting ready his things to wash him up and put him to sleep.  Left him to play in our room with Fatty and all of a sudden, he vomited.  All over Fatty’s night stand FHL.

Didn’t think too much of it cos babies sometimes puke don’t they?  We were going to wash him up anyway so I just picked him up and cleaned him off, changed him into his PJs and fed him milk.  I prepared 7 oz instead of his usual 6 thinking he might be hungry.

He drank 2-3 oz and tossed the bottle aside wtf.  Then he stood up in his crib and asked to be carried.  I usually make him soothe himself to sleep in the crib but I felt sorry for him having vomited, so I picked him up and cuddled him to sleep.

He fell asleep so I put him back in his crib.  He stirred, and took his pacifier out of his mouth with his eyes closed.  I was thinking, oh man I have to pick him up again wtf when suddenly…. he unleashed a torrent of milk from his mouth to his mattress.

Then he started crying. T_________T

Picked him up, comforted him while he continued to vomit on my shoulder and cry.  Cleaned him up again, changed his pajamas and gave him a drink of water.  He fell back asleep against my chest…. and then ten minutes later, he threw up the water.

At this point, Fatty and I were like OMG GO TO THE DOCTOR NOWNOWNOW

My poor poor baby.  At the A&E of the nearest hospital (also where he was born).

He was obviously tired from all that vomiting and the late hour.  He was also so thirsty – he kept signaling for his bottle or trying to fish his bottle out of the bag himself.  The nurse told us to not give him food or drink though to avoid him vomiting more so we tried to hold back.

Dunno which is worse – trying to comfort a crying baby who’s been puking, or trying to comfort a crying baby who wants to drink water. T_______T

Singing to him to try to distract him from his water bottle. T_T

I ended up giving him little sips of water though.  Which he promptly threw up over me (and Bump). Twice.

Finally got in to see the doctor…

Where Fighter visibly brightened up.  Because the doctor was a very pretty lady. >___>

Usually he doesn’t like the stethoscope on him but this time he willingly let her… cos he was distracted and playing with the pretty doctor’s bracelets. >___>

Then doctor wanted to feel his tummy.  Again, usually he doesn’t like being laid down and will shout or try to flip over and crawl away.

Here he’s like, “How you doin’?” >____>

Sei hamsup baby!

We debated admitting him into hospital but the doctor said the only difference would be they’d put him on a drip there.  And luckily, he didn’t look too dehydrated at that point.

Since we also found out there were no single rooms in the pediatrics wards and only 4 bed-rooms, I thought better bring him home where he could rest in his own bed rather than place him with three other squalling sick babies.

So we took him home, he fell asleep in the car in my arms, and slept the night through on the bed.

He did wake up for water though and drank a whole bottle of water mixed with rehydration salts!  I was pretty impressed cos he knew how to signal for water (super cute) by crawling over my face to reach the bottle on my night stand (not so cute).

Anyway he’s much better now although in the course of that one night he did vomit over me countless times, and then one more time the next night after milk.  He also leaked diarrhea water over me in the morning. -_-

Which resulted in me contracting the same damn stomach virus!

And how I landed in the hospital due to severe dehydration. FML.  I’m back home now (discharged this afternoon) but still feeling a little bit queasy at times and definitely a lot more tired.  Details are all on my Dayre so not gonna type twice.

Ok go sleep to recuperate.  Nai!

Taken with my Sony Xperia Z3

#audfit – Azorias A-line qipao

Happy Chinese New Year everyone!

Best wishes and happiness for you and your families this 2015. ^^

This year we’re spending Chinese New Year in KL.  Normally we go back to Penang every year but this year we decided to stay in KL.  Fighter was born at 31 weeks and today I’ve just hit 33 weeks (woohoo Bump you go girl!) so we thought it’s best to stay here near to our hospital and ob-gyn. (Ob-gyn also staying put for CNY but she insists she’s looking forward to the peace and quiet).

Quieter CNY but we’re not really alone!  My parents are only going back to Penang tomorrow so we still got to see them for reunion lunch and on the first day.  And Fatty’s uncles and grandma are in KL too so we’ve also been seeing them for dinner.

Anyway, thought I’d do a Bump update since Fighter is napping and Fatty is cycling wtf.

(picture is me eating ice cream wtf this stupid Bump!! Typical girl or what, I really really don’t like sweet food and dessert at all but she’s making me eat ice cream all the time!!! My favorite is hazelnut wtf so if anyone wants to buy me a present…. I crave it every day omg and doesn’t help that ice cream really makes my heartburn feel better.  I swear Bump is the one making me bake too just so I can eat the fruits of my labor wtf.)

On the first day of CNY, I’m 33 weeks exactly!

But on to a serious issue.

My friend Jolene recently told me she lost her baby at 26 weeks gestation. T_________T

I was one of the first few people she confided in about her pregnancy cos we were pregnant at the same time – she was a few weeks behind me only.  I was so happy for her and was having fun watching her go through all the new mommy experiences – reading up about pregnancies and babies and going baby shopping.

And then she messaged me two weeks ago and told me her baby had died.  She’s a wonderful writer and wrote about her experience here.

I cried when she told me and cried more when I read her article.  She’s one of Ooib’s closest girl friends and I’ve known her since primary school!  And she’s the sweetest nicest girl ever – I felt so angry that it happened to her.  Like why her when there are so many other worse people out there.

I cannot imagine what she went through and my utmost admiration for her cos I think she’s been so strong and handling it so well.  I don’t know how I would handle it myself if that happened to me.

But I do think about it all the time.

At my last ob-gyn check, we found that Bump hasn’t been increasing in weight since two weeks ago.  At 33 weeks she’s still 1.5 kg which is 5th percentile.

We’re going to keep close monitoring of her but it’s probably that the placenta isn’t working well again which is why she’s not receiving enough nutrients to grow.

And she was doing so well all this while!  Always in the 50th percentile before this.

Even though my blood pressure is still within the normal range and I don’t really have protein in my urine, the fact that Bump isn’t growing well indicates my placenta maybe not working well, the same reason that is thought to have caused the preeclampsia with Fighter. T_______________T  So we might very well see her within the next few weeks.

On the bright side, it solves the issue of whether to try for a natural vaginal birth or to do C section again.  Doctor told me if this was confirm confirm my last baby, to just do a C section since my uterus, being a virgin in terms of labour, would probably be inexperienced and take a long time to give birth.  Also there’s always the tiny risk of scar rupture.

But if I wanted the option of having another one later, trying for a natural birth this time would be better for future babies.

Honestly I couldn’t decide cos both also sound horrible to me wtf ya I know right it’s not even my first baby. -_- But last time I think I was just ignorant of everything and thus had no fear.  Now I know what happens already and both child birth options scare the baby out of me hahahaha.

So the silver lining is the choice is taken out of my hands. :X

The downside is….. Bump may be a small baby cos of the restricted growth and may be premature too.

Frustrating because…. why my body got so many problems sustaining healthy babies full term. T________T What’s wrong with the placentas I make!!!!

Guilt because the least I can do is give my kids the best start in life – to let them begin life healthy and with the least amount of risk in developing health issues.  And I’m struggling to even do that.

Which is why I don’t feel like having any more children.  Why have them when I bring them into this world with a a potential physical disadvantage…. Doesn’t it seem like an irresponsible thing to do?

Anyway I’m monitoring her movements very very closely.  The good thing is she’s a very kuai baby and moves all the time hehehe.  So I’m always reassured cos she moves around so damn much.  Even at times when I think she’s not moving, I poke my stomach and within a few seconds she’ll move again. ^^

So Imma just pray everything goes okay for the last stretch and that we’ll soon see Bump healthy and well. <3

So…. this happened on Monday. *hearts in eyes wtf

The second baby shower for Bump!  Fighter didn’t even have one hahaha.

My friends were always talking about throwing one for me and Bump since we didn’t get to do it with Fighter.  But since the past few weeks I kept getting scares and we also dunno when Bump would make her appearance, we decided no need la. Instead we were just going to have a baking session at my place (which was what Bobo and Hui Wen had been talking about forever) to make use of my Kitchenaid mixer (birthday present from Fatty hehe).

Or so that’s what I thought wtf.

So the day came and Bobo and Suet arrived first!  We planned a whole tea menu so I was gonna make my usual butter cookies, Suet was making scones and Bobo would make sandwiches.   The prettiest mixer in the world!  Mixing the dough for the cookies.  And yea my apron is Totoro wtf Fatty got it for me together with a whole other bunch of miscellaneous baking/cooking stuff too. Some of the Nuffies (Adrian, Melissa, Denise) got me a very canggih looking cookie cutter for my birthday so I was also dying to use it!  The box proclaimed it ‘the last cookie cutter you’ll ever need’.   WTF is this shit LOLOL. I was like either this is not the last cookie cutter I’ll ever need or I’m the last person who should be using this cookie cutter hahahaha. Turns out it’s the latter FML.  Used it wrongly and my third batch of cookies are uglier than ever. Suet and Bobo went ahead with the scones… The recipe called for sifted flour.  Here they’re using my tiny sieve from Daiso – think they hated me cos it took forever to sift the flour hahahaha.

This was after lunch so I was still munching on my Mcds fries and ‘supervising’ wtf. They said I damn annoying cos I was just eating and offering un-useful advice – “Put less sugar! I like more butter!”

Ally brushing on egg wash on the scones.

Raisin scones done!  Turned out pretty good for a first attempt!

And then the doorbell rang.  And Hui Wen clattered in with armfuls of flowers and balloons and other random props. D:

Voila the final set up!

I was so surprised cos I really expected a baking session with shorts (I was still wearing pajama shorts wtf) but the girls really outdid themselves. T_________T

Look at this gorgeous set up!  They even had a poster with ‘baby shower’ written on it and borrowed an Ikea frame from me to put it in wtf.  Pink deer figurine is from Hui Wen’s house hahahaha.

And tons of fresh flowers and other pretty decor.

Apple crumble made by Ally! 

Scones made by Suet and Bobo!  Savory pastries underneath were brought by Hui Wen.

Tuna sandwiches by Bobo!

Macarons bought by Sherlyn!  My fugly butter cookies underneath not even bothering to take a close up shot of them wtf.

Hui Wen even brought the white tea pot WTF. Pink tea cups were given to me by her and Bobo for my birthday hehehe.

Thank you girls for putting in so much effort and making me and Bump feel so loved. T_____________T Bump better be a girl WTF.  Cos my baby bump is very sharp and neat la I kept asking my doctor “confirm still a girl ah?” wtf.

Cheesie came with Junya later too!

With Hui Wen <3

And Ally. <3

Meant to take individual photos with everyone but got too caught up with eating. :X

Got one with BB Junya though who looked very stoned fml.

The babies meet!  When I see Junya I remember how Fighter used to be!  Like still a bit floppy and sweet and not as strong willed.  Fighter is a sturdy toddler now and very adamant in his likes and dislikes sigh.  

Anyway Fighter noticed Junya fiddling with his animal puzzle and I think he was trying to show off as a big brother – he very quickly pulled all the animal pieces out from the puzzle as though trying to show Junya how to do it lolol very show off.

Then the puzzle got music one!  Music started playing and immediately Fighter dropped the puzzle and started clapping hahahaha automatic reflex. -_-Playing with Junya ok.  But if I or nanny carry Junya, all hell breaks loose. T_______T  Can’t see properly in this picture but Fighter is actually shouting and staring angrily at a stunned Junya. T____T

His jealousy is so horrible! It’s actually getting worse the older he gets.  Nobody can carry any other baby except him wtf.  Nobody can even leave the room without him getting antsy wtf.  It’s like all of us must be around him at all times. -_-

Worried for Bump now fml.

Oh well Fighter is just going to have to suck it up.  And all of us will just have to close our ears when he screams wtf.

Anyway it was a fabulous day, thank you guys. T________T I have the most awesome friends yo. We don’t get together often anymore cos of all our hectic schedules, especially not in such big groups so it’s even more fun when we have a reason to!  Makes me feel like a carefree student again when we can hang out for hours on end doing nothing.

(Only got to do it this time cos at home and all baby necessities are there wtf)

First, pictures!

Ohai little boy!

His tshirt says it all.

Very excited to be a big brother huh Fighter?

Here’s me and Fighter watching TV.

His super cute outfit from Baby Style Icon!

Successkid.jpg

This was taken at 34 weeks!  I’m wearing pinstriped boxy dress from Azorias! The dress is not for maternity hor but got ruching at the side which makes it perfect to fit a Bump hehe.

Also at 34 weeks + in case you didn’t think my bump was that big.

And in case you think I’m still super slim and (like what some of my friends said) that my bump looks fake cos it’s so neat hahaha…

In a week I ballooned up to this WTF.

Say real one hahahaha I didn’t even need to arch my neck too much to get this effect. D: D:

I think it’s the water retention la cannot be fat right!!! (although I have been gorging on ice cream lately FTS but it’s the best remedy for heartburn for me T3T)

Anyway…today I am 35 weeks!  I’m damn amazed I made it this far actually.

Bump is really rocking it yo.

It’s been slightly still a rollercoaster although nothing compared to Fighter’s time of course.  After our last scare (ahem), last Friday night instead of attending Wafu’s open house, Fatty and I headed to the labour ward cos my BP was 150/100 which was the level my ob-gyn said I was to come in.

In hospital, my BP by manual check turned out to be 160/110 WTF.  I had to provide a pee sample to check for proteinuria (protein in pee – sign of preeclampsia) and thankfully the amount was negligible enough for it to not be considered.  If got protein I’d have to be hospitalized immediately but since there was none, the doctor released me with BP medication and a promise to keep checking my pressure at home.

Bump is still growing too slowly though.  At 35 weeks she’s supposed to be 2.4 kg or something like that, but she’s only 1.7 kg. So based on this and the escalating BP, she’ll be out the latest by 37 weeks.

That’s two weeks at the most!!!!

Quite surreal (and frankly frightening) that Imma be a mommy of two in two weeks. *boggle eyes *loud violin music

On account of guilt that Fighter may just be rotting his IQ away at home doing nothing but walk around the house, open and close cabinets, pretend to read some books and the occasional bubble play session, I suggested to Fatty that we take him swimming last weekend.

(Oh yea and I stopped his school for now cos I was worried I’d deliver early and couldn’t take him to class)

So we packed his swim diapers and towel.  And blew up his swim float for the first time.  It was a present from my ex-colleagues and at first I thought it was a donut float which would probably be too big for this ex-preemie.

But it turned out to be this little boat thing, complete with steering wheel!

Fighter was completely enamoured with it hahahaha.

So much so that he insisted on carrying it with him in the car on the way to the pool WTF.

So we got to the pool… and straight away Fighter’s eyes widened and he started gesturing towards it.

I’m too preggers to fit into my swimsuit so I stayed at the edge with towel and camera while Fatty did the honors.

Here’s Fighter gingerly testing water lolol pun not intended.

As a kid Ooib drowned like five gazillion times so I was predictably nervous about my own baby boy going into a pool for the first time.  I kept shouting to Fatty, “Be careful! Don’t drop him! Don’t let him drink water! Lower him down very carefully! Don’t scare him! Let him test water first!”

I’m surprised Fatty didn’t turn around and punch me wtf.

So anyway Fatty carefully lowered Fighter into the pool (as per shouted instructions wtf).  I needn’t have worried cos Fighter loved it!

He stood in the pool which came up to about his waist waved his hands about enthusiastically in the water.  I think in his mind he was ‘swimming’ hahahaha.

And then ZOMG.  He suddenly thought it was a good idea to crawl in the pool and dropped to his hands and knees.  Fatty quickly yanked him up but he was spluttering, face all red, with water dripping from his mouth, clearly having drank a mouthful hahaha.

After that he was scared to go in again!  He clung to Fatty and whined.  We were worried this would give him a water phobia so I told Fatty to sit with him at the pool edge and just let him dangle his feet in the water.

He actually calmed down pretty quickly and took to the water again!  Waving his arms around and convincing himself he was swimming hahahaha.

The float that he loved on ground?  He hated sitting in it omg.

I don’t think it was fear or anything, but on the float he was sitting above water when all he really wanted was to be in the water, swimming. *cough*

So for most of the time Fatty had to carry him around like a giant float lolol.

When it was time to go, we lifted him up out of the pool, much to his displeasure. #babyangst

Wiped him off, and put him down on the ground. And this is what he did.

HAHAHAHA T___________T

If Fatty had not reached the pool first, Fighter would probably have dunked in and drank more water. Some more at the end you can see him grabbing Fatty’s nipple FHL HAHAHAHAHA.

Pulled him out and again he did his usual toddler tantrum of arching back and crying but he stopped after I told him we’ll bring him back next weekend lolol.

Happy baby is happy again.

And then the next morning, he insisted on bringing his float with him to bathtime.

OMG haven’t blogged in more than a week!

Got a very good excuse though.

I was away…

Having her. Ahem.

Hello everyone, meet Penelope.

With two kids under two, I got no time to blog!  BRB descending into the caverns of hell.

So here’s the story of my labor with Penny.  Way less dramatic than with Fighter but scary to me nonetheless hahaha.

Last week I was fully expecting to have a scheduled C section after my 36th week checkup.  Cos my BP was so far controlled by medicine only and we didn’t want to risk it further especially cos 37 weeks is considered full term already and IUGR babies have a higher risk the longer they’re inside.

So I was totally prepared for a scheduled C section where I could errr further prepare for it… in preparation wtf.

So my next appointment with the obgyn was supposed to be Monday to do some last minute checks and discuss a date for the C section.

On Saturday night (early Sunday morning) I jolted awake cos what felt like water was pouring out between my legs. O_O

At first I thought it was just heavy discharge (sorry TMI, men) and blearily grabbed a tissue off the side table and just wiped.  And closed my eyes again.

Next minute they popped open because I felt another gush. O_O  This was at 3 am.

Leaped out of bed, ran to the toilet to wipe and it just looked like a very clear watery substance. Then I felt more dripping out.

Could this be… my water breaking? O_O

All trembly, I went slowly back to my bed and started googling, “how to know if you’re in labor” wtf.

I still wasn’t sure at this point because movies always showed it as if the water just gushes out like from a drinking cup.  Mine was just coming out in small spurts and drips. But it said if in doubt to check with your midwife or to just go to the hospital.

So I gingerly tapped Fatty and said, “I think my water broke.”

And Fatty efficiently went to brush his teeth and change clothes wtf.

Meanwhile I was sitting on the toilet bowl cos water was still dripping out of me wtf, my bag half packed.  Fatty helpfully asked, “What do you need? I help you pack.”

“Uhhh… makeup” wtf.  Because I want Penny to see me pretty ok wtf.  And we need to take pictures ok hahaha.

Anyway, by the time we got dressed and ready I was starting to feel slight twinges in my back.  Which turned into definite waves of cramps by the time we got to the hospital.  4 am.

Checked into the labor ward, got hooked up to the machine that checks contractions.  Was told my obgyn would be coming in after seven only.

Taken with my Sony Xperia Z3

Over the next few hours…. I was half in agony already.  I say half because it was probably one of the worst pains I’ve felt in my life… but I still knew there was more to come.  The cramps were coming in every two minutes and while the pains were bad, I knew it would get worse.  I also knew I wasn’t at the max of my tolerance yet but I didn’t know how much worse it would get.

Taken with my Sony Xperia Z3

At 5 am I was like GIMME ALL THE DRUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

At 6 am, the anesthetist (from my previous delivery) came and gave me an epidural.

Taken with my Sony Xperia Z3

And in ten minutes the pain subsided. T___________T

Because of all this – the contractions and everything, I was expecting a natural delivery now, instead of a C section.  And I was frustrated and scared.  I’d prepared myself for another C section and had made peace with that but now with the thought of a vaginal delivery, I was terrified.  I didn’t know what to expect, having never read up on it and just wasn’t in the right frame of mind for it.

When my obgyn came in, she checked my dilation.

I was at 1 cm WTF. And my water bag apparently hadn’t even burst!  I think it was just leaking a bit, but I didn’t ask more.

She told us, we could wait another 3 or 4 hours to see how much further I’d dilate.  And then we would decide if we were to try a vaginal delivery or just C section.  She wouldn’t push me too hard on going for a natural birth cos of my high blood pressure and the fact that I had a pretty recent C section scar.  Also, there was a significant amount of protein in my urine by then which meant the preeclampsia had kicked in big time.

The other option was to just go for a C section right away.

But if we waited 3/4 hours she estimated I’d be maybe 3-4 cm dilated and I’d have another 10 hours or so ahead of me to wait further.  I didn’t think I wanted to or would be capable of that to be honest.  And if I wasn’t dilated enough or anything else went wrong, I’d still have to do an emergency C section.

So we decided to just go with the C section.

Taken with my Sony Xperia Z3

The anesthetist pumped me up with more anesthetic.  I kept telling him, “you sure I won’t feel anything ah?  Better give me more ah” wtf damn annoying hahaha.  Cos in my head, epidural was for vaginal births so what if it wasn’t strong enough for surgery!  Stupid dunno why I doubt a specialist lolol.

I think he must have been annoyed and given me enough to knock me out for two days wtf. #truestory

Surprisingly, this time the OT didn’t feel as cold as before.  And I managed to stay awake enough to note what was going on.

I was numb from waist down.  I remember my doctor asking if I felt her pinching me very hard and I didn’t.  I remember her saying she was cutting and soon I would feel some tugging.

I felt the tugging.

And then I think Fatty, who was sitting next to me breathed, “she’s out.”

Taken with my Sony Xperia Z3

Taken with my Sony Xperia Z3

I remember holding my breath, waiting for her to take her first.  Then I heard a lusty baby’s cry.

And then she was in my arms.

Taken with my Sony Xperia Z3

Penny’s first photo with us.

And that was it.  It was over in less than an hour.

Taken with my Sony Xperia Z3

Hello everyone!

Last night I had seven hours of sleep (albeit broken up into three pieces) so I’m feeling gooooood.

So I have been a mommy of two for… *counts* fourteen days now.

Taken with my Sony Xperia Z3

*gasp* What, I am two weeks old now? I sure wasn’t born yesterday wtf.

It’s still so weird to think I’m a mother of two!  People with “mother of two” titles are usually aunties (like uhhh my mom is a mother of two as well hahahaha) but maybe I’m in denial of my true auntie status. FML.

But I guess that I am, that I am.  I have a toddler (19 months old as of Penny’s birth) and a newborn. *clutches at own face

Obviously ever since coming home from the hospital things have been hectic and the days and nights are all melding together but honestly it could have been worse.  My confinement lady is here and she takes care of Penelope a lot, plus our nanny helps with Fighter (especially cos I’m now a full time cow) so I have a lot of support la!

I thought I’d be going to hell in a handbasket with two kids but so far so good.  Although ask me again in a few weeks when the confinement auntie departs you might hear me answer from below ground wtf.

Anyway here’s what’s been happening lately…

My recovery

I did a C section for both babies but surprisingly the recovery this time has been a lot quicker and smoother!  Even my doctor was surprised cos I’m two years older than I was before plus this is the second incision yo.

But she said I was very ill the last time which could have made me feel weaker and more in pain overall.  Also uhh this time I dutifully took my painkillers; last time I stopped them very early on cos I thought they didn’t make a difference.  Turns out they do wtf.

Last time it took me a week before I could walk upright (not even 180 degrees upright ok, maybe like 160 degrees) with minimal pain but this time, on the second day I was walking very slowly upright already!

My right side still hurts a bit though when I get out of bed in the morning but the doctor examined me yesterday and she said no infection or swelling so it’s probably a muscle pulling or something.

Fighter’s reaction

His first first reaction when he saw Penny for the first time ever was in hospital.  He went, “AYEEE!!!” and instantly tried to reach for her.

Unfortunately, toddlers don’t know their own strength.  He clawed at her face happily and uhh we adults may have panicked and raised our voices in fear a bit.  Then since then he’s been reluctant to touch her even if we gently hold his hand and guide him to pat her.

He was always pretty happy to see her in the hospital but when we brought her home and carried her, it finally occurred to him that THIS IS COMPETITION YO.

A few times whenever one of us carried Penny, Fighter would either whine or try to get someone else to carry him.  Lol damn kiasu cannot lose like that.

Once I was breastfeeding Penny in my room and Fighter woke up and cried for someone in his room.  So I got him to come in to my room, while I fed Penny.  I kept talking to him and paying him attention while I held her, and lo and behold he wasn’t unhappy!  He was smiling like crazy actually – I think he was just worried he’d lose the attention to her so he was probably relieved that even though mommy is carrying Penny, she’s still paying attention to him.

Nowadays if I feed her and he’s around, he just comes over and puts his hand on my shoulder or back, but doesn’t show any unhappiness. ^^

But most of the time when she’s sleeping in her basket or rocker he just ignores her wtf.

However!  When she vacates her rocker (which was Fighter’s rocker as a baby, but which I don’t think he even remembers sitting in)….

Fighter attacks!

Damn annoying seriously hahahaha.  Like I said I really don’t think he remembers this as his rocker but he just wants to try whatever she’s having.

He also tried to drink from her milk bottle once LOL.

Chilling in Penny’s rocker and watching TV hahahaha nonsense this boy.

Doing things for the second time

You’d think it’d be easier the second time round but not true! It’s like I forgot everything that I learned in taking care of a newborn and had to relearn everything again.  Having one kid doesn’t really prepare you for the next I think.

Penny’s style is quite dissimilar to Fighter’s.  Fighter initially didn’t know how to suckle (cos he was born so premature) but one day he just searched my chest with his mouth, caught on, and from then on breastfeeding was a breeze.

Whereas for Penny I nursed her from day 0 and for the first week or so, she didn’t latch well at all!  I dreaded every nursing session cos it’d be me against her struggling to get her to open her mouth wide enough, to suckle correctly instead of just sucking on the tip, trying to wake her up when she falls asleep two seconds later wtf.  We’d take sometimes up to an hour and I’d feel defeated and exhausted at the end cos she didn’t seem to have drank anything.  T_T  Then the nurses or the confinement lady would have to cup feed her to make sure she was full.

Plus I’d totally forgotten how it is to breastfeed. O_o I had to relearn holding techniques, what a proper latch feels like (not nipples on fire wtf), how to burp (still suck at it) and everything!  The only thing that came back to me like second nature was pumping wtf. -_-

Anyway, I think she’s stronger this week or something cos she’s latching much better!  Her latch is a lot stronger plus she drinks consistently for longer.  So I’m a lot happier and more relaxed too.

I was worried that I wouldn’t have enough milk this time but I guess I have nothing to worry about wtf.  Right now I only pump for 10-12 minutes every 4-6 hours cos I don’t want oversupply issues if Penny isn’t drinking a lot.  But I still yield 200+ ml each time wtf so okay milk spa yo.

MOMMY OF TWO OMG

Ok that’s all!  Going back to pumping wtf.

Last Monday began like any other day.

Took Fighter back to school after a long hiatus cos I was busy having Penny and then in confinement.

Hehehe my handsome well dressed boy.  Tshirt from Wild Baby.

I left Penny at home for our nanny to look after.

When I got home, nanny told me worriedly that she’d noticed a lump on Penny’s erm labia.  I checked, and sure enough there was a huge protruding lump on the left side of her groin.  When I gingerly poked it, it felt hard. O_O

I had no idea what it was and since when it appeared.  I’d always noticed her labia was a bit swollen but I thought that was normal since she’s a newborn and it was water retention or hormones from being inside my tummy. I’d certainly never seen a newborn labia before her and never noticed the lump before either.

To be safe, I quickly rushed her to our pediatrician.  Doctor looked at her and said it was possibly a hernia. O_O

He ordered an ultrasound scan, and sure enough it was confirmed an inguinal hernia.  Inguinal hernias are more common with baby boys but sometimes girls can get them too. T___T  They’re more likely in premature babies too — but Penny is hardly premature leh so suay she get this even though born at 36 weeks.

Usually it’s the intestine that has dropped into the crotch, but in Penny’s case it was her ovary that had fallen through, which is rarer.  No wonder the lump felt hard and round, it was her ovary I felt. T___________T

The doctors recommended surgery and I nearly fainted.  Surgery at a month old. T_____________T

Apparently it’s a pretty routine procedure and is done to prevent future incidents from happening even if the doctor manages to push back the ovary this time (she couldn’t).  The surgery involves making a small incision at the lower abdomen, pushing back up the ovary, then sewing up the hole in the muscle to prevent future incidents, before stitching up the incision.

So we scheduled the surgery for Wednesday, two days later.

The night before, I packed our hospital bag.  And cried.

I was damn emo thinking SKY AH SKY WHY ME WHY THEM. Why do both my babies at such young ages have to battle health issues serious enough to warrant hospital stays and surgeries.  Most adults haven’t even had surgery, why does my poor little one month old baby girl have to go through one at this age. My heart broke imagining what she would have to go through if I could have the surgery for her I would. T_________T

On the way to the hospital next morning, I cried again wtf.

Anyway I checked her in for admission and got settled into our room to await the surgery.

Uhh. My face don’t ask wtf.

Penny had to fast for at least four hours before the surgery.  She normally drinks every 2-3 hours so that’s like her missing a whole feed cycle.  Imagine denying a hungry baby crying for milk.  I think that was one of the most torturous things for me.  She doesn’t normally take a pacifier but I kept stuffing one into her mouth for two hours straight to give her some kind of comfort.

Changing her diaper before going in to surgery.  Later doctor got nasty surprise wtf.

Besides being hungry she wasn’t really in any discomfort thank goodness. And she’s damn cute in this set of photos hahaha.

What face is this!

Still getting her diaper changed hahaha.

^^

\

Then it was time to head to the Operating Theater.  Instead of a normal hospital bed, the nurses wheeled her in a metal pediatrics cot.

We had to change her into a surgical gown.  Unfortunately the only gowns available were adult size wtf.  So I took an adult gown and wrapped her up in it.

The gown made her look tinier than ever and she looked so vulnerable lying there. T_________T

The OT is always damn cold so luckily the nurses brought a blanket and swaddled her up in it too.

I was all prepared to enter the OT with her.  A  lot of people said they’d rather not see and I also don’t wanna see leh.  But somehow being there in the OT would make me feel less helpless – if anything happens, I want to know immediately.

But the anesthetist said that Penny would be under general anesthetic and she’s too young to notice if I was there or not, so I didn’t need to go in. They pushed her in and I started bawling again. T____T

We went downstairs to have a quick lunch while waiting for the operation to be done – they said it’d take about 45 minutes.

Stupid Dome service damn slow so I was going crazy waiting for my food and then gobbling it down.  Then had to wait for them to slowly give us the bill also.  Then suddenly my phone rang and it was the hospital!

They said, “come up to the OT immediately your daughter needs you.”

Wah panicked like crazed wilderbeest.  Cos they made it sound so urgent and as though something went wrong okay!

Left my parents downstairs while Fatty and I dashed upstairs to the OT.  Outside, while waiting to be let in, we heard a baby crying.

Me: “That’s Penny crying!”

Fatty: “Cannot be she shook off the GA so fast.”

*baby cries again

Us: “Oh yea that’s her.” wtf hahaha cos her scream very loud and distinctive one. :X

I was nearly running around in circles cos they hadn’t opened the doors for us yet!  When I finally got in, they put me in scrubs and quickly led me in… and I saw Penny, still wrapped in the blanket, being held by a nurse, squalling away.

The nurses asked me to nurse her for a bit to give her a drink and to calm her down I guess.  And they finally told me everything went well thank goodness say earlier next time please lol.

She was still too sleepy though so her suck wasn’t very strong.  She was merely sucking for comfort which was totally okay with me!

Penny immediately after the surgery. She had a drip in one little hand, and a monitoring device on her other.

She continued sleeping for another 1-2 hours and woke up ravenous.  Drank a lot of milk which is a good sign.

Penny with Daddy.

The night after the operation was rough though.  She was on paracetemol for the pain but obviously it still hurt so she was horribly grumpy the whole night.

Every time I put her down she’d cry and cry.  She probably felt so insecure and uncomfortable that she just wanted someone to hold her.  So I spent the night just cradling and cuddling her.  She slept in fits and bursts but I think I only got about an hour of full sleep, when at 8 am I finally managed to hug her from the side and we both slept quite peacefully that way.

The doctor okay-ed her discharge the next morning though so home we went!  She was doing much better already, less grumpy and more like her normal self (which can also be quite grumpy wtf)

But she was well enough for us to go ahead with her full moon party over the weekend!

So glad it’s all over.

To other noob parents, please keep a look out for any weird lumps on your newborns.  I didn’t know what to look out for – or even what a hernia was and that it can affect young babies – so I would have missed it if not for the experienced eagle eye of my nanny. Hernias left untreated can be very dangerous. The organ part that slips through the muscle can be strangulated and die off.

Sf you spot anything unusual on your baby and you don’t know what it is, no harm just getting it checked out at the doctor’s.

I’m very thankful we caught Penny’s case early and no damage was done.

Yay talking about happy things today – Penny’s full moon!

The truth is, I wasn’t planning on having a full moon.  I didn’t plan one for Fighter either but my mother in law insisted cos she said she must be fair to all her grandkids and threw one for Fighter back in Penang.

For Penny I also didn’t really consider having one but then Betjeman and Barton said they wanted to do one for Penny!

Betjeman and Barton is a new tea place in KL! They are tea merchants from Paris and have been around since 1919.

Their first outlet in Malaysia is in 1 Utama, which is where we had the full moon.

Arrived at the store and everything was ready for us!

A look around the store first…

Ignore Fat Her Ooi wtf.

Love their pretty red decor scheme!  The walls are lined with shelves of tea cannisters – crazy amount of different types of teas from around the world!

The other side.  There are glass cases of special handmade desserts and chocolates by Betjeman and Barton.  Some of the desserts are even tea-infused, keeping to their commitment to the beverage.

Okay so at first I thought it would be a small low key affair – just an afternoon tea with our closest friends and family and everyone would just gather to put up legs and chit chat wtf.

But then La Memoria stepped up and offered to do the decor for party! :O  They are a pretty well known wedding and event decorating company so suddenly the party became super glam omg sorry Fighter Penny win this time hahahaha.

I told them La Memoria I wanted a pink and princessy theme… obviously!! I’ve been dying for an excuse to throw this kinda themed party my whole life wtf.  So they came through with a gorgeous pink and gold scheme.

This was the photo backdrop!  Actually the style reminds me of Sofia the First hahaha.

And hehehe Fatty and Princess Penny are super in love with each other here wtf.

Also excuse how I look wtf.  Full moons should be held at least three months later to give the momma time to look presentable again hmph wtf.

The decor at the buffet table!

And the buffet table itself.  All catering done inhouse by Betjeman and Barton yo!

One of the desserts!  Actually I was so busy talking to everyone and tending to Penny I didn’t eat a thing. :/

All desserts in pink too hehehe.  Got cupcakes, macarons, croissants and pink pastries I don’t know hahaha.

They even had a cake for us!!! Unlike the trend nowadays for mock fondant cakes, this gorgeous princess cake was entirely edible.

With my confinement auntie!  Penny came suitably dressed in the theme btw.  Actually she was super pink and floral la hahaha more pics later.

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Me with a critter who was busy stuffing his face (literally) with macarons. >_>

Party in full swing. Can tell a baby’s party by the strollers hahaha.

Another pic of the four of us. We super awkward standing like this cos didn’t wanna block the cake and decor lolol.

One more of the pretty buffet table.

With Jojo and Lay See!  La Memoria also provided princessy photo props which the kids loved hehehe.  The adults mostly forgot to use dammit wtf.

Hehehe love this photo of Lay See with her son Javier (who’s Fighter’s classmate!)

With Fatty’s college friends.

And Bobo who rushed back from her holiday to attend. <3

The Oois!  Fighter is super attached to Mummy Ooi so Fat Her staked his claim on Penny already hahahaha.

Joanne (my ex boss) and Jammie!  Fighter playing the good host and letting people take photos with him wtf.

With the girls Gene, Reva and Wendy.

Another set of girls – all mommies hehehe.  Juvyn and Li Anne (high school friends whom I recently got back in touch with yayy) and Lay See.  And Li Anne’s baby Shane!

Look at this Juvyn pregnant but don’t look pregnant one good genes or what!

Yew Kuan disturbing Fighter from the looks of it hahahaha.

Ooib and Sherlyn!

Janice, Desmond and Fayth. Industry people… and my sister in law lol.

Haha super cute la this picture!  Lexi, Javier and Kay playing around with the props.

Fatty with Terence & Li Anne, Janson & Juvyn and roly poly baby Shane.

And where was the star of the day?

Very busy.  She had a packed schedule of naps and milk drinking. Hahahaha.

Happy one month darling!

Actually as I write this she’s nearly eight weeks old now zomg. And laying on my lap, fast asleep lolol.

Thank you again to our sponsors Betjeman and Barton, and La Memoria!  They did such a good job with Penny’s full moon that now I don’t know what I can do for her first birthday hahahaha.

Oh my god guess who’s awake?!!

Not you too!!???

The story is, at 9 pm I was burping Penny after her feed when I heard Fighter yell from his room. Penny was half asleep by then so I carefully put her down on my bed, on her tummy while I went to see to Fighter.

Turns out he woke up and couldn’t find his pacifier. -_-

Picked him up and he laid on my shoulder instantly.

Then I started having spooky thoughts. Shit why did I put Penny on her tummy. What if she rolls over on her face and suffocates without me knowing!?

I figured I would rather have a crying child than, you know, no child at all so I gingerly crept back into my room, still carrying Fighter.

To my relief, Penny was fast asleep with her head turned safely to the side.

But not for long!

Fighter got super excited at being allowed out of his room at night. He perked up and pointed at Penny and shouted, “HEY!!!”

And Penny stirred. FML. She started grunting in her usual newborn way and Fighter found it very funny. Double FML.

He started snickering which roused Penny even more and she began to wail her head off. Triple FML.

My consolation prize is I managed to calm her down while telling Fighter to lie down and go to sleep next to me. Penny calmed down and looked around at us with wide eyes. Like ooh what we doing mommy?

I thought her face was super cute though and being such a blogger, I snapped her picture (see above)

Too bad Mr Lack of Attention had to ruin the first attempt by trying to squeeze himself on my lap so he doesn’t miss out so my hand shook hahaha. #FOMO

And here he’s rolling around and trying to rest his head on any body part of mine just to manja. Lol.

Tried patting them both to sleep but to no avail. One would get excited, triggering the other off and kaboom Party people hey it’s Friday night wtf.

In the end I became a weight lifter and picked them both up and walked downstairs. To look for nanny. (I normally give her evenings off so she can rest and do her own stuff)

I thought I could put two babies to sleep together but I couldn’t. D:

Nanny took Fighter from me (Penny had fallen asleep again just by walking downstairs hahaha) and we both trudged upstairs again. But Fighter saw me going into my room without him and wailed.

So I exchanged Penny for Fighter and attempted to put him to sleep.

For three f*cking hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Does that look like a face that wants to sleep I ask you. He was rolling here and there and having the time of his life. -_-

Anyway my entire Friday night was spent lying on my bed avoiding eye contact and pretending to be asleep so my toddler would go to sleep. -_- Couldn’t even go to sleep for real cos I needed to pump milk still.

How was your Friday night? *forced smile

(all photos taken with my Sony Xperia Z3 in nearly complete darkness, only the bathroom light was on.  How good is the night camera!?)

So recently I’ve been into doing twinning outfits for Fighter and Penny.  By that I mean coming up with outfit themes and matching pieces for them to wear.  And then doing mini photoshoots.

It’s been so much fun!  Now I realize the full potential of fun of having babies of both genders wtf.

Without further ado, let me introduce my models.

Male model: Fighter Tiah.  Aged 21 months.  Body shape circular.  Likes cars, french fries and light switches.  Dislikes being told no and people leaving the room without him.

Female model: Penny Tiah. Aged 2.5 months.  Body shape even more circular wtf.  Likes being tickled on her cheeks and getting her diaper changed.  Dislikes wind in the tummy and people kissing her on the head.

OK fashion show commences wtf.

Theme: Minions!

Penny’s onesie: gift from grandma
Penny’s socks: Happi Kiddo

Fighter’s onesie: Carter’s
Fighter’s minion goggles: souvenir from Universal Studios LA

Theme: Pink

Fighter’s T-shirt: Wild Baby
Fighter’s shorts: Osh Kosh B’gosh

Penny’s tutu onesie: gift from a friend

Theme: Hello mom/Hello dad

Fighter and Penny’s boy/girl matching rompers: Baby Gap

Kelefeh Lamb Friend: Zara Home

Beanie on Penny’s head making her cry: mommy’s own, Japan

Behind the scenes wtf. Fighter hated the beanie but didn’t know how to take it off HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Theme: Glory Manchester United

Fighter’s jersey and shorts, Penny’s onesie and shoes: All from Old Trafford gift shop

Theme: Japanese

Fighter’s yukata: gift from Japanese friend

Penny’s Kumamon outfit (complete with hat): gift from Cheesie

Theme: Stripes

Fighter’s onesie: Carter’s

Penny’s onesie: Mothercare

Theme: Navy with white polka dots

Penny’s dress: H & M

Fighter’s cardigan: Baby Style Icon
Fighter’s denim shorts: Baby Gap
Fighter’s t-shirt: Uniqlo

BTS.  Male model trying to force female model to wear his sunglasses -_- (Baby Gap)

Guest starring Mommy!!! I found a navy and polka dot dress in my closet too so I had to join in the fun!

Actually both dresses were a present.  My friends know that I’d love wearing matchy matchy with my daughter leh!

I also found an old bow of mine and clipped it to Penny’s headband for a matching hair accessory.

I had some time so I grabbed Fighter for an impromptu photo shoot outdoors (my female model fell asleep wtf)

My handsome model!

My handsome model running away from me (;

My handsome model shouting, “Kar!” (car)

Hehe one of my favorite shots.

Mommy’s dress: H&M
Mommy’s shoes: Fashion Bloggerrr

Fighter’s shoes: present from Sherlyn

I can’t model for nuts but Fighter is so good at posing already! (or is that mommy biasedness talking hmmm)

Take two.

Trying to remove my glasses.

So I removed his in return. Hehehe.

So much fun putting together their outfits and doing the daily photo shoots!  Already got a few other themes in mind for the upcoming days hehe.  Any shops wanna sponsor us and challenge me to come up with a twinning outfit photo feel free to contact me! Hahaha.

Which is your favorite outfit theme?

So the other day I was pumping and reflecting.

You know you read articles and Facebook posts written by new mommas on their birth stories or seeing their babies for the first time.  And they always go something like this:

“…it was love at first sight for me.”

So was it really just me!? Confession time… it wasn’t love at first sight the first time I saw Penny or Fighter.  I never understood that saying.

I only realized this one day when I was playing with Penny and she was cooing and smiling back at me.  I thought how much I loved her and how I would do anything for her and her brother, and it hit me that truth be told, I did not feel like this on the day she was born.

The first time I saw Fighter I burst into tears because he was all tubed up in his incubator.  I cried because I felt responsible for putting him in that situation.  And I cared very much about him and I WANTED him of course.  But I didn’t feel the fall in love hearts in eyes feeling wtf.

With Penny, the nurses placed her in my arms and to be honest I don’t remember what I thought.  Probably something along the lines of “wah she so sticky” LOLOL.

Then later on when she was all cleaned up and we met again in my room, I again didn’t feel anything.  Meeting both my babies was like meeting someone new.  It was so weird!  I wanted them so badly when they were in my tummy but when I actually met them, it hit home that this was a new person, a stranger to me still.  Could I say I loved a stranger?

The love came more and more every day though.  Every day I saw them, fed them, bathed them, played with them and that’s when I started falling in love.  The more I get to know them, their weird baby habits and distinctive personalities, the more I love them.

And I think every day I still love them more and more.  In the beginning I may have loved them as an obligation  but now I love so deeply it slightly scares me because I can’t think of anything I wouldn’t do for them.

Was it really love at first sight for you?

Anyway random pumping thoughts aside!

Let me introduce to you Hula Penny.

HAHAHAHAHA SEXY OR NOT?

Love, Bubsie sent me a whole bunch of costumes and outfits for Penny and this is the most hilarious one hahahaha.  Grass skirt, coconuts and flowers in her hair hahahahahaha I cannot handle the cuteness!

And where’s Fighter?

Here he is!

To match his sister (and as part of my twinning obsession), Fighter is a tiny surfer dude today.  He’s decked out in green board shorts…

And sunglasses!

Hehehe one of the outtakes.

“Hmm Penny, Mommy didn’t get you any sunglasses.”

“You can have mine.”

“That’s not how you wear sunglasses, sis.”

“Is this edible?”

This is a complete filler post cos I haven’t finished typing out my Stokke Scoot review yet and I don’t wanna leave my blog unattended.

Going on a short trip to Singapore tomorrow so my Stokke review should be up by the weekend!

Anyway guess what today’s twinning theme was?

I give you a hint wtf.

Hahahahaha.

Mickey and Minnie Mouse!

The only rodents I will not kill :X Hahahahaha.

(Fighter looks like he’s guilty caught doing something he’s not supposed to do.  Which is pull on the mobile like that la!)

The outfits are from Love, Bubsie too. They sent Penny the Minnie outfit and I saw they had a Mickey one too which I quickly ordered so I can do twinning for them again.

Actually they both hate the ears. -_-

Look at their faces hahaha.

Penny can’t speak yet so she’s just whining about her hat.  But Fighter is yelling at us for trying to put it on him hahahaha.

Explaining why he hates it. (It’s not cool and it’s itchy wtf.) *making things up

Back to messing with the mobile. -_-

So… who wore it better?

Some of you might know that I settled on getting a Stokke Scoot for Penny.

I’d deliberated between getting a double stroller to carry both kids, a single stroller for Penny, or buying a new pink canopy for the Bugaboo Bee and letting Penny ride in it.

Me and my Bee.

• Double stroller – just too damn heavy.  Besides, Fighter usually hates being in any stroller or cart so it would just be a waste of space.
• Keeping the Bee for Penny – what if one day Fighter wants to sit in his stroller again?
• New single stroller – best option

So I settled on the Stokke Scoot!  One key factor was that it comes in pale pink hahahaha.  The one I got is a limited edition one though; there are two versions – pale pink or dusty blue with polka dots.  Obviously I chose the pink one.

I’ve been using it for a month or so now and here’s my review on it.  Note: Not a stroller expert so Imma compare it to the only other stroller I know, the Bee.

Fresh from the oven store!

So this is what it basically looks like from the front.

Sizewise, the Scoot is quite large for a lightweight stroller, bigger than the Bee.  But that actually makes it feel more stable.  I don’t know the exact weight but it feels heavier than the Bee as well.  Bad cos I have no muscles and therefore prefer lighter models but good because the stroller feels tough and stable.

When you fold it up, it comes off in two.

I actually find the Scoot a lot easier to fold.  There are two big buttons to push on the side to unlock the seat and they are easily accessible and don’t require a lot of effort to press.

Just press them simultaneously and lift the seat off the chassis.

[pic of chassis lock]

To fold the chassis, simply push the button to the front, squeeze the whole button down, and the chassis swings close.  In theory this is very easy but as I am a muscle-less flabby person, I find this quite hard to do.  I also found the Bee hard to close initially but after prolonged use, the movements got smoother so I expect the Scoot to be the same.

When folded, the Scoot takes up more space than the Bee because it comes in two pieces.

The seat fits two ways – parent facing and front facing.  And both ways, there are three positions available – Sleep, Rest and Active.

In the picture above, the seat is adjusted for Sleep, extended all the way down.  I use this for Penny cos she can’t sit up yet.  

This is the seat raised up to Active mode.

I love how easy it is to adjust – you actually change positions by buckling two different length straps which will hold the back of the seat up to whatever position you want.

The handle is adjustable with three rotatable positions to suit different heights!  Just press the button on the handle to adjust.  It also folds up completely for easier storage.

Another thing I like is the huge canopy!  When Penny is asleep there it completely shades her from any light hitting her face and I hope it partially blocks out some sound too hahaha.  There’s also little net cutouts on the side so she gets fresh air in and can look out if she wants.

If you don’t want the canopy, you can push it back somewhere in between or all the way (like this).

Storage basket underneath is pretty spacious.  It also comes in a standard squarish shape which can take more things.  Very easy to put things in from the back (where I stand), as opposed to having to go to the front to put stuff into the basket.

In comparison, the Bee’s basket is rounded which looks cute but may not be as efficient for storing things.

Harness is adjustable for two different heights.  When baby gets bigger, simply push the harness straps through a higher set of slits on the seat to accomodate a longer child.

The big button on the harness lock makes it easy to unsnap too.  I hate it when kids’ seatbelt straps have to be ‘locked’ together first before you can insert it into the buckle (which is what our car seat does).  This one (and the Bee)’s straps can be buckled separately making it a lot easier to strap in a squirming child.

Another thing that is missing from the Bee but that the Scoot has is the leg rest!  Never gave it much thought but if I were a kid, a leg rest would be nice to have. Hahaha.

Scoot tires feel big and… bouncy? Haha. I imagine they absorb shock quite well and because they’re quite big, I feel safe running it over small steps or uneven floors.

OK here’s my verdict.  My verdict is… I like both the Scoot and the Bee equally much. Hahahaha. *diplomatic

Both are lightweight models which is what I prefer.  I like bringing both out with me but there are some differences.  You can use them to figure out which stroller is right for you and your family.

Weight

Like I mentioned earlier, the Bee feels lighter, and therefore easier to cart around.  However, the Scoot definitely feels more stable and secure due to the extra weight.

Maneuverability 

Sorry, Scoot.  Bee wins this one hands down.  The Scoot delivers a decent performance when it comes to pushing it and maneuvering it around corners.  But Bugaboo makers have perfected the technology behind its movement and rolling.  The Bee just rolls like a dream; I can push it with one hand and still retain full control of it without feeling like it’s going to roll away from me.  Unfortunately, after a while of pushing the Scoot with a baby inside, my arms start to tire a little.

Storage

Storage goes to the Scoot.  The shape of the basket underneath allows us to fit more stuff in it, and it’s easily accessible from all sides.  As for the Bee, I find myself having to move to the front of the stroller to stuff things into the basket.

Material

It’s possible that Stokke used a lighter canvas material on the seat to reduce weight but because of that, the Bee’s thicker fabric feels more high quality, like it could go through a war and still come out intact and comfy.

Resilience

Despite the lightweight fabric used, the structure of the Scoot makes it feel like I could drop it from the third floor and it would be okay.  The Bee feels more fragile for some reason.

Looks

This is purely personal and the Scoot with their limited edition pink polka dot seat and canopy put up a good fight. Hahahaha.  But I still love the quirky looking Bee with the rounded spindly legs (it really does look like a bug!)

Comfort

The rounded shape of the Scoot makes it more comfortable, sorry Bee.  The Bee’s seat is flattish and while it’s okay for bigger babies and toddlers, young babies probably feel more secure in the “cocoon” of the Scoot.

Penny definitely thinks so!  She sleeps very well in it – half an hour at a time which is amazing for her wtf.

That said, Fighter slouches whenever he’s propped up in the Bee which makes me think the Bee really isn’t that comfy for toddlers after all.

Also the Scoot comes with the leg rest which probably contributes to the comfort factor.

Ok the end wtf. Hope this makes your decision easier if you’re considering strollers!

So as you may have seen on me and Fatty’s Dayres, we had a very unpleasant encounter with an Australian man yesterday on our flight back from Sydney.

(yes we were in Sydney. For a week.  With a baby and a toddler.  This warrants a post of its own which will be coming up after this wtf.)

So it was the end of a very stressful and harrowing week for us.  At the check-in counter we had already checked in three suitcases but we still had a crapload of stuff with us – I had Penny strapped to me in a baby sling and I was pushing her stroller filled with the world’s heaviest diaper bag, water and snacks for Fighter and miscellaneous items that fell out of our suitcase wtf.  Oh and my backpack.  Fatty had his backpack and was carrying Fighter.  We were bogged down but we were at the finish line! All I wanted to do was climb onboard the plane and endure the last leg of our trip so we could go home and rest.

Stepped on board and located our seats.  It turned out I was on an aisle seat and Fatty was in the seat across the aisle from me.

I drew a diagram for your reference.

Next to me by the window was a big Australian man, in his fifties.  He was talking on the phone when he saw me and said to his phone,

Oh god there’s a bloody baby next to me.

Okaaayyyy.

Fine I totally understand.  Nobody likes a crying baby on a plane and before having kids myself I was exactly the type of person whose head would whip around to locate the source and cock stare the poor kid and parents wtf.  So I get it that nobody wants a baby around on a flight cos of the high risk of high blood pressure and insomnia wtf.  In fact, I was considering buying candy to bribe my fellow passengers in case Penny or Fighter cried wtf.

Fatty and I settled into our seats and I noticed my neighbor going to talk to the flight attendants.  He was gesturing and I got that he was complaining about having to sit next to a baby.

He came back looking kind of dejected though so I assumed the crew probably told him he had to wait to see if there were any available seats or something.

I certainly didn’t want to make the poor guy suffer unnecessarily.  I noticed that there was nobody seated next to Fatty, so I said to him, “Excuse me, but don’t worry I’ll be moving to the other row to sit with my husband so you don’t need to bother about my baby.”

I don’t remember what he said exactly but something along the lines of how he has to transit from KL to London again and he’s damn tired and don’t want to put up with this yadda yadda. And then he said some other stuff in a grumbling tone which I kind of tuned out wtf.

I said, “Yes sure I understand.” But inside I was a bit miffed that I was doing him a favor and instead of saying thanks or sorry for the inconvenience, this man was just continuing to grumble about his misfortune of sitting next to me wtf.

Eh hello doing something nice for you leh need to keep harping on it??

Sadly for him, when I asked the crew if I could switch over and sit next to Fatty, they said cannot.  Because each row only comes with three oxygen masks and there wouldn’t be enough for all for us.  Which was why they seated us across the aisle from each other.

Too bad so sad for the baby hater.

I knew full well that Penny was going to cry at some point in the flight and started to feel quite uncomfortable sitting next to him.  So I asked Fatty to switch seats with me, figuring we had better chances with Fighter.

But noooo. Baby Hater’s eardrums too precious or something cos he then called over the head attendant and started haranguing him.

I couldn’t hear properly cos I was across the aisle by then but I pieced it together after it all.  According to Fatty who was sitting beside him, Baby Hater was complaining about how he’s some One World Emerald member or some nonsense like that, and was this how they treated special members?  By seating them next to a baby?

At this point, I saw Fatty’s eyes roll until can only see the whites wtf.

The head crew asked if he would like to switch seats away from the babies and he said NO. HE PAID FOR THIS SEAT (1A) AND BY GEORGE HE WAS GOING TO SIT IN HIS SEAT.

WTF. As if we didn’t pay for ours?!

(Actually we didn’t la, my fare and the kids were redeemed from points hahahaha but he doesn’t know that wtf.  And anyway you don’t pay for a particular seat what shit is this.  You can request it but you don’t pay extra to sit in a particular place la please.)

Then Baby Hater gestured at Fatty and said, “WHY DON’T YOU ASK HIM TO MOVE INSTEAD.”

Head attendant told him that wasn’t possible (because the baby bassinets were in our row so no way we could move to the back).

And Baby Hater said, “Why not? I’ve been an Emerald member for ten years blah blah always sit on Cathay blah blah how can you allow me to sit next to a baby yadda yadda been an Emerald member for so long and never been treated like this. And what is he?” (gesturing rudely at Fatty again)

This is when Fatty kaboomed.

He retorted, “I am to MAS whatever you are to your One World.  The fact is if you want to continue sitting here you’ll have to deal with it because both my kids are probably going to cry sometime in the flight.”

Baby Hater drew himself up and boomed, “Then maybe they belong in the back, in economy class, and you with them! My daughter is sitting in economy herself.”

Fatty lost his temper. “Well then it’s not my problem if you can’t afford to fly your daughter business class!”

Woah woah Baby Hater going to explode at this point. He hollered, “I COULD BUY UP THIS ENTIRE BUSINESS CLASS IF I WANTED TO. I JUST DON’T BELIEVE IN SPOILING CHILDREN. You’re one to talk – you didn’t even have to pay to bring your kids into business!”

Which is totally untrue and just goes to show how little he knows.  Infant fare is 10% of the adults and they don’t even get their own seat.  Noob.

Fatty obviously corrected him of his stupid notion but he ranted on and on.  About how Fatty started it cos he wasn’t even talking to him, he was speaking to the attendant.  Fatty was like are you kidding me? You kept pointing at me and trying to ask the crew to make ME move right in front of me, how is that not rude and involving me?

I also got angry and spoke up, “Yes and I was trying to help you out by requesting to change seats and you didn’t even have the courtesy to say thanks or be nice about it!”

I can’t remember what was said after that but he ranted on for a bit and demanded compensation from the crew which they respectfully denied.  How? Already offer him alternative seats he still don’t want.  What else can they do?  The argument kind of petered out with the head attendant patting Fatty on the hand to calm him down hahahaha.

I was boiling at the arrogance and selfishness of this asshole.  I was still thinking of things to say back to him when suddenly Fatty turned to him again and said, “Look. Let’s start over.  I apologize for saying you couldn’t afford tickets – that was uncalled for. My issue is that I would like to move if I could but I can’t because the baby bassinets are here and I have to sit with my wife to help her with the baby.  What is your issue?”

Baby Hater more or less calmed down and started speaking in a nicer tone.

But across the aisle I was fuming and indignant.  I wanted to go over and make Penny gnaw on his head or something wtf.  Later on, I asked Fatty WHY DID HE APOLOGIZE!?

Fatty said he felt that he was out of line making personal insults and implying he was poor wtf.  Besides the flight was eight hours and Fighter was bound to make noise at some point, and he didn’t want to deal with more shit from Baby Hater.

From his end, Baby Hater explained he was trying to make a fuss to get compensation, hoping they would switch his seat and upgrade his daughter. And he was surprised why Fatty jumped in cos he didn’t think it concerned Fatty.

Ummm then it just means he’s too cheap to pay for a business class ticket for his daughter and wants to get a free upgrade by yelling and ruining people’s day???

And guess what?  After Fatty apologized, Baby Hater never did.  No apology for inconveniencing us, no sorry for being rude, and definitely no apology for the crew who got yelled at for nothing.

In fact he confided in Fatty that in his experience, making a big enough fuss would get you what you want on flights WTF.

-__________-

I feel sorry for whoever has to service him.

This was a picture I took later to show you guys our seat positions.  I’m on the aisle, and the window seat next to Fatty is Baby Hater.

The happiest one of us hahaha in her bassinet.

Snapped this picture of Fighter drinking his milk and accidentally captured Baby Hater.  Flight crews, be very afraid. Lol.

At one point Fatty asked if I thought he should move seats next to Passenger X so Baby Hater wouldn’t have more reason to hate babies.  I told him, if Fighter is going to annoy someone, shouldn’t it be someone unpleasant rather than someone who didn’t do anything?” Hahaha.

The lesson learned is this.  Nobody wants to listen to a crying kid in a confined space.  Heck, I hate it myself.  But what to do, kids on flights are a necessary evil.  Obviously I’ll do my best to make sure my kids are as undisruptive (is that a word?) as possible but we have every right to be on a plane, same like everyone else.

Also, making a fuss will get you nothing.  Except a whole blog post dedicated to you. Hahahaha.

Hello!

So we’re back in the comfort of our own home, with our own beds and amenities.  We’re more or less recovered from our trip to Sydney – although some things will never be the same again wtf.

Will we be doing it again? Hell no!  Okay fine, never say never.  But definitely not for a long time to come.  I shiver just thinking about it. Maybe in seventeen years or so. Hahahaha.

We thought it would be hard, but we didn’t realize it would be Difficulty Level: Asian.

Now with things in the near past, we can look back and laugh a little at what we went through.  It was a tremendous experience wtf.  So I thought I’d do a blog post on things we’ve learned about traveling with young children, and about ourselves

1. Kids are terrible travelers

This was something that completely did not occur to me.  Fighter was a complete nightmare wtf.  He was irritable, threw tantrums at the slightest provocation, and was nearly impossible to put down for naps or bedtime.  He refused to even walk or sit in the stroller most of the time, demanding to be carried around as if he weighs as much as a feather pillow.  He turned down most foods, preferring to munch on fries and cookies mostly.  Towards the last couple of days, he even refused the fries.  Worst of all, he was constipated for four days until I resorted to feeding him stool softener.

But a few days in, we realized what Fighter’s problem was.  He was in a new environment which he was uncomfortable with.  He was also probably over stimulated, hence the difficulty in going to sleep.  And since he only ate fries, no wonder he became constipated, which further worsened his mood.

Penny on the other hand, was the perfect baby.  She fed and slept on the go wherever we were, and was happy as long as she was in her carrier or stroller.

Lesson learned is – if you’re going to travel, go when baby is too young to know better!  Do it when all they do is eat and sleep.  Jet lag may not even affect them much seeing as they’re sleeping most of the time.  

2. Bring a baby carrier / stroller   Fighter is a lost cause but these two items were life savers for Penny!  Mostly she traveled in her Ergobaby (got it from Bloom and Grow Malaysia) strapped to me and she’d sleep for two hours straight (her normal naps are 45 minutes max -_-) then wake up to feed and either be in a good mood, or fall back asleep. Win!   She slept well in the stroller too but I felt more secure with her in the Ergobaby.  The stroller was super useful for putting diaper bags, blankets, and random baby paraphernalia though.   If you’re planning to travel, either one of these items is a must.  Having said that, I’m glad we brought both; it worked out best for us. 3. My husband is a hero and we make a fantastic tag team Our roles in marriage are like this – Fatty brings home the bacon and I manage the house and kids.  Very straightforward.  But on holiday, he really stepped up!  He took on Fighter so I could be free to care for Penny. Before this, Fatty had never even bathed Fighter but he did a fantastic job!  Sometimes we switched kids but for the most part, Fatty fed, bathed, dressed and kept watch of Fighter. He even put him to bed and slept with him. And left me enough peace of mind and sanity to take care of Penny without worrying about whether Fighter had pants on wtf. To be honest, I was a bit doubtful of his abilities since at home he mostly just plays with them.  But it’s hot wtf.  Made me fall a bit more in love with him hahahaha.

3. My son loves me!

Ya as though I didn’t know this before wtf.  But at home with the helper, in the day time I end up spending most of my time with Fighter, if I’m not feeding Penny.  Fighter can get super clingy (and slightly jealous of Penny) so while he’s awake I try to spend more time with him and nights with Penny.

But in Sydney I had no choice but to be full on Penny.  I thought Fighter would be okay since he loves his Daddy too, plus his grandparents were around.  And most of the time he was okay playing with everyone, but at times when he saw me coming, I’d see his eyes light up at the sight of me… then his face fall when he realized I was holding Penny.

A bit heartbreaking but he has to accept it la hahahahaha.  And I secretly love it cos it means he really loves me! #glasshalffull

4. More than one kid is like a mine field

When one cries, it invariably triggers the other one to start screaming too.  Soon you’ll wonder if you still have ear drums.

5. Book a hotel instead of AirBnB

This is purely personal preference of course, but our experience in Sydney left me thankful we stayed in a hotel instead of an AirBnB.

Of course, with AirBnB you get the comforts of an entire house (if that’s what you booked), access to a washer, kitchen, etc.  But what you don’t get is daily housekeeping.

Because shit happens.

Any parent will know that things can get very messy with kids.  In our case, Penny tends to poop with a lot of force.  What happened was I was holding her, wondering if it was time to change her diaper, when she farted, and suddenly my arms were warm and wet, and I heard a loud splat coming from the bed in front of me.

Stunned, I shifted my gaze to the bed and saw a yellow splotch.  Then I saw it this time.  A stream of poop shot out from ABOVE Penny’s diaper, flew to the bed, and enlarged the yellow splotch.

Poop started dripping down the bed.  And on to the carpet.

So yeah.  Never was I more thankful that I could call housekeeping and not have to deal with it myself.  I had to pay for laundry services to wash our clothes but it was worth it wtf.

6. Bring spare clothes… lots of them!

Because, you know, shit happens.

7.  The bonding makes it worth it

We were suffering.  We were counting down the days till we got to go home.  We were secretly discussing going for another holiday to recover from this one.  But even as we were going through hell, we knew this was an invaluable experience.

On one of our last days, Fatty turned to me and said, “You know despite everything, the best part of this trip is that we really got to bond with the kids.”

Exactly what I had been thinking!  Because we weren’t out at work, or events or meetings throughout the day, we spent literally every second with our kids.  As I said, our nanny watches Penny in the day while I take Fighter to school, walks, and do other duties and good as she is, she never figured out Penny’s schedule.

But after a few days of me taking Penny, I figured out her schedule is actually super predictable.  She gets sleepy exactly 1.5 hours after her last nap, and hungry the minute she wakes up.  Nanny couldn’t catch her sleepy cues so Penny would get immensely cranky at home. T_T  I felt like I finally had special quality time with Penny that I didn’t really get cos I was always distracted by a clingy and attention demanding Fighter, and got to know her personality – she’s actually super cheerful, but a bit timid.  And she loooooves attention hahaha.

As for Fighter, he learned that he could depend on Daddy to take care of him.  Fatty learned how to properly look after him so I think they really bonded too.

So that’s what we learned.  Now to go plan our next holiday.  Without kids. Hahahaha.

Today has been one of those days when I wish I wasn’t a mom.

Come to think of it, this is the first time I’ve actually thought that.

The past few nights have been pretty rough with Penny waking up and crying more for milk more than usual.  But last night took the cake.

She woke up at 3.45 am for milk so I fed her and she went back to sleep. So far, so good.  But then an hour later she woke up again.

I thought she couldn’t be hungry so I tried patting her back to sleep.  Instead she got angrier and angrier because I think she couldn’t go back to sleep fast enough for her liking.  She woke up and had a full blown baby tantrum.  And when Penny tantrums, the world shakes wtf.

Nothing helped.  I cradled her, shushed her, patted her, walked her around, she kept getting louder and angrier.

Beside me, Fatty covered his ears with a pillow wtf.

She was so loud I thought she would wake Fighter in the next room so I brought her downstairs with me where she finally calmed down, although I dunno how long it took – I was that out of it.

And this morning I had to get up early to take Fighter to school so I’m feeling like ten kinds of shit.

I admit –  Penny is a very difficult baby.  On bad days I think that maybe because we had a smooth delivery with her (compared to Fighter), so now we have to go through a tough time.

My breastfeeding journey with her hasn’t been the smoothest of trips.  The first two months was fine but somewhere within the third month she started becoming very hard to breastfeed.  It got so that when I even laid her in the position to breastfeed, she’d arch her back and start screaming.

And once she starts, it’s nearly impossible for her to stop.  I’ve had her cry in my arms for two hours straight while I slowly went insane.  When she cries, she flails and kicks, and she just screams louder and louder.  She’ll spit out her pacifier, and walking, patting and rocking her does nothing to help.

Sometimes, very loud shushing does work, combined with vigorous rocking but it’s not 100% effective either.

Because she’s so hard to feed, what I have to do is basically let her cry until she gets so tired she goes to sleep.  Then when she’s half asleep I stuff my boob into her mouth and she drinks herself to sleep wtf.  Do you realize how that sounds?  That I have to let my baby cry so she’ll drink her milk?

I have no problems feeding her in the middle of the night cos she’s so sleepy then.

Can you imagine the amount of stress and crying we go through every day though?  When she cries long enough I feel like crying too.  And it sounds awful but when she doesn’t stop I feel like throwing her down or covering her mouth — anything to make her stop.

I don’t think she’s in pain or sick, because sometimes when we successfully distract her – usually Fatty taking over – she calms down fast enough and even smiles at us. -_- But then it’s like she remembers she was angry and starts again wtf.  Her temperament is impossible.  That said, I’m planning to take her to the pediatrician tomorrow just to get her checked.

It’s really taking a toll on me.  When she laughs and plays with me I’m so grateful.  But when she starts her uncontrollable crying, I want to jump out of the window.  I look at her crying face and I feel so sad I can’t calm her.  But some small sorry pathetic part of me wishes I had a different kind of baby.  What kind of mother am I?

So this is what I’ve been struggling with for the past two months.  And tonight Penny was asleep in her room.  It was Fighter’s bedtime so I washed him up and got him his milk.  I carried him into their room, where our nanny was.

She told me she would put Fighter to bed so I left.

Then I heard Fighter shouting and knocking on our door (our room connects to the kids’).

Penny had woken up thanks to his shouting so I told nanny to tend to her while I did the same for Fighter in our room.

Instead of going to sleep, Fighter walked all around our room, playing.  He heard Penny’s voice in the other room and wanted to go and knock on the door again. -_-  I wouldn’t let him for fear he’d agitate her further… and he threw a fit.  After all the Penny pinching he does, suddenly so caring wanna go see his sister?

He screamed so loudly I scolded him and threatened him with the naughty corner.  And this is where it got heartbreaking.  He hates the naughty corner so I saw him actually take a deep breath and try to stop himself from crying.  He gasped and hiccuped but still went on crying loudly.

Fatty was on the phone in our room and Fighter wanted to go to him, but Fatty waved us off.  It triggered another tantrum in Fighter who was probably confused and heartbroken why Daddy didn’t want him.  And Penny started crying again in the next room.

What ensued was me alternating between trying to soothe and hug Fighter who was struggling and screaming in my arms, and raising my voice and threatening him with the naughty corner again – something I’m not proud of.  In retrospect I believe he was too emotional to control himself but at that point I thought he was being willful, refusing to obey me.

He finally fell asleep hugging me.

While I write this, he’s still sleeping in the position I left him.

I know I don’t mean this, and tomorrow will be a fresh new start, but at this moment I wish I was single with nobody to look after except myself.  So I don’t have to feel like a failure.  So I don’t have to be the person I was today.

The other day someone on Dayre mentioned the term “high needs baby”.

I’d never heard of it before so I googled. I got on this blog and… holy shit this is a revelation!

Pop Quiz: Do you have a High Needs Baby?

Do any of the following sound familiar?

Your baby would rather observe the world around her from the vantage point of your arms (While in a sling. Bouncing. And nursing.)
My answer:  OMG yes.  Except sometimes she doesn’t even need the sling, silly mommy.  Just bare arms will do they’re so much comfier than some silly nylon carrier!

When he’s hungry, wet, irritated, overwhelmed, or bored, he isn’t shy about letting you know, long and loud.
A: Yep! Especially when she’s overwhelmed.  When there’s too many new faces and too much noise.  Not only does she let me know how she feels more than adequately, she lectures me for at least five minutes after that too.

Sleeping through the night is a term you think you’ve heard before, but certainly haven’t experienced anytime recently.
A: Actually touch wood but Penny’s been pretty good at night! But maybe it’s because she rarely naps for more than 30 minutes at a time in the day so by the time night falls, she’s exhausted. -_-

His nicknames all include the words fuss, cranky, or grumpy in some way, shape or form.
A: OMG how you know!? We call her Grumpy Pants, Grumpy Cat, Miss Grumps and So Much Anger In This Little Body.

You don’t understand the phrase “Enjoy the newborn stage, it’s passes so quickly”. To you that’s like saying “Enjoy having your appendix removed, the recovery period passes so quickly”.
A: Yea totally.  I’m counting down to when she can speak so she can tell me WHAT SHE’S ANGRY ABOUT. T____T

After doing a whole bunch of reading on this (i.e. I spent an hour on Google), I am pretty sure Penny is a high needs baby.

Who, me? *innocent*

Dr Sears was the first person to coin this term and I read through his article 12 Features of a High Need Baby.  Every line I read seemed to nearly describe Penny to a T!  Words like “intense”, “draining”, “demanding” flew up at me and really rang a bell.

One line in particular:

Isn’t a contented baby the hallmark of effective mothering? Wrong! There will be days when you nurse, rock, walk, drive, wear, and try every comforting technique known to man or woman, and nothing will work. Don’t take this as a sign of failure. You do the best you can, and the rest is up to the baby. You have not failed as a mother even if your baby is miserable much of the time. This is simply part of his personality.

Yes, Miss Grumpy, I do believe that is just your personality.

Another trait was “super sensitive” and “cannot be put down”.

High need babies are keenly aware of the goings-on in their environment. “Easily bothered,” “quickly stimulated,” “like walking on eggshells” is how parents describe their sensitive babies. High need babies prefer a secure and known environment, and they are quick to protest when their equilibrium is upset. They startle easily during the day (for example, we learned not to turn on the blender if Hayden was anywhere nearby) and settle with difficulty at night. While you can carry on normal family life without waking most sleeping infants, these babies often awaken at the slightest noise. Super-sensitive infants are unlikely to accept substitute caregivers willingly.

Yes loooo.  When I had our aircon units serviced, the sound of the cleaning machine pissed Penny off royally so we had to sequester her to the furthest corner of the house from whichever unit was being cleaned.   And when we brought her to Kim and Gareth’s baby Liam’s birthday party, she yelled the minute we stepped into the house.  I guess there were too many new people and sounds around and she didn’t like the new place wtf sorry Kim.

She screamed all the way until I brought her upstairs to a guest room, away from all the stimulation to recover.  And even then she sniffled away in my arms, and kept working herself up so she’d scream at two minute intervals FML max.

Another sentence in Dr Sears was this:

High need infants tend to be full-time tummy-thumpers and bladder- kickers, as if telling the world even before they’re born that they need more space.

Omg really! In my tummy she was ALWAYS moving and kicking.  In fact there wasn’t a time where I felt worried about her at all (as opposed to certain days with Fighter when I didn’t notice him move) because she was always reminding me she’s there. I was very grateful that she was reassuring me but now I know it’s just her forceful personality hahahaha.

So basically Penny is an okay baby… until she’s not happy or wants something.  Then all hell breaks loose wtf.  When she cries, it’s not a cry of pain or fear.  It’s anger.  Her little body tenses up, she arches her back, she yells with as much as strength as she can muster, and she goes on for a long time, until her emotion is spent.

She cries on car rides (IKR which baby hates car rides!?); hell, she cries even in the car seat.  She cries when I put her in a lying down position cos she always wants to be upright and look at stuff.  When feeding, if flow too slow, cry.  Flow too fast, cry.  Accidentally come off the nipple, cry.  When we take her out of the bath, she cries cos she loves bathing. When putting lotion on her face, she cries.

And sometimes for no discernible reason at all, she cries.  Then a few minutes later she recovers without us ever figuring out why.

A study was done on the ‘difficult child’ which followed 141 children from birth through to elementary school, looked at various personality traits, and the extent to which the children exhibited the following 9 traits:

• The level of motor activity
• The regularity of functions such as eating, elimination, sleeping and wakefulness
• The response to a new objects or people (do they accept it or withdraw)
• The adaptability to changes in the environment
• The threshold or sensitivity to stimuli
• The intensity of responses
• The child’s general mood or disposition (cheerful, grumpy, serious, friendly, etc.)
• How distractible the child is
• The attention spam and level of persistence they display when engaged in an activity

The children were categorized into three – Easy, Difficult and Slow to Warm Up. Upon reading, I’m pretty sure Penny is Difficult la hahahaha.

More reading indicated that the best way for parents to cope is to adopt an “adaptive, flexible style of parenting”. Which is what I find myself doing now.

Quite different from parenting Fighter who can be considered an easy baby, I baby wear Penny a lot, or just plain carry her throughout the day, co-sleep, use a swing for naps (which I swore I’d never use), use a specific bottle for feeding (Fighter was fine switching bottle types, and switching from bottle to breast), and do elaborate sleep rituals wtf.

(Mine is cradle her, turn on a lullaby on the baby monitor, say SHHH until I got oxygen deprivation, swing her from side to side, while bouncing myself around the room.  With one hand ready to catch the pacifier she may spit out in anger any moment. OMG FML hahahaha)

We also don’t really dare take her out of the house now lest we disrupt her routine.  Also because she doesn’t take well to public environments. And every night at clockwork I put her to bed at exactly the same time, while doing the same things (see elaborate sleep ritual)

A lot of people especially older folks think I’m spoiling her, but really.  This is the only way we’re surviving wtf.  Reading all these articles on high need babies, other parents of high need babies are saying the same thing.  Observations and studies have shown this is the most effective style when it comes to high need babies which is great news!

Slowly but surely, I see our efforts paying off. But touch wood hor don’t suddenly F me over again ah universe.   Penny has been having longer and more frequent periods of cheerfulness.  We’ve learned to read her cues better, so we’ve been able to preempt some meltdowns.

Normally I need to let her cry it out for at least half an hour every night before she goes to sleep -_- but for the past two nights she did not! Today she whimpered a little bit but my fabulous shushing and swinging lulled her off to sleep before she could full blown melt down.

And yesterday even better! I picked her up and she did not cry.  In fact, she nuzzled my boobs and quietly breastfed herself to sleep. :O :O (Normally I have to let her cry herself to sleep before dreamfeeding her.)

I say all her negative points but she has some wonderful traits too.  When not grumpy, she’s VERY smiley.

She loves it when people talk to her.  She starts smiling like crazy and “talks” back in her baby babbles.  She loves it when you blow raspberries at her or make weird throat noises.  She does it right back at you — I didn’t know five month old babies could replicate the same sounds!

When she’s in her tantrums I feel like dying.  But when she smiles and babbles at me everything else just melts away . )))  Is this an unhealthy relationship lolol.

Milestone achieved btw!  At 4.5 months Penny sat up by herself for the first time!  Here she is, looking very nonchalant about it.  She damn cool lo. Hahaha.

And here’s me and her on Periscope.  It’s my new favorite app!  Follow me at @fourfeetnine for snippets of me, Fatty, Fighter and High Needs Baby.